Consistency is Key

Last night, at a church meeting, I was asked to sit with God about a strength He sees in my character and a weakness. Honestly, this was an uncomfortable, quiet time for me, which really wasn’t all that quiet in my head.

After a minute of mental constipation, I felt the Holy Spirit share a couple of things with me. Primarily, I am doing a great job at vulnerability, which was a total weakness of mine in 2019. This is an area a close friend pointed out to me as a blockage in my relationships. She reminded me that God works best in my weaknesses and that true strength is vulnerability. So, when God showed me how proud He was about this growth, I beamed. Then came the area in my spiritual walk where I am struggling... consistency.

At first, I was defensive. “I am totally consistent, God. I read the Bible every day and pray consistently.” Then, reality checked me. Though I am consistent in areas I enjoy, I struggle with areas that stretch me and make me uncomfortable. I enjoy watching church from home and serving online as a chat host. Still, I am uncomfortable about being in person at church because it is overstimulating with my new cochlear devices. I have allowed myself to stay home because I am watching church, but the point isn’t to watch church. It is to be the church.

This hit, friends, and I had to be honest about my unwillingness to connect with the body of Christ because people are hard. I don’t like being around large crowds, especially now that my devices amplify sound on a whole new level, but what if I am supposed to show up for other people? What if I am preventing God from using me because I am not there to be used?

This truth bomb woke me up, and though I continue to struggle with my desire to stay home, I need to get past my flesh and get back to being an active part of my church again.

Is there an area of your spiritual walk where you can be more consistent? Reach out to me, if you’re willing, and I will pray for us both to show up in the areas God is leading us to grow.