Discipline Determines Success
Something I keep hearing over and over again in books, on podcasts, and from my husband (who reads books and listens to podcasts) is that the key to success is not talent… It’s discipline. It’s doing difficult things that you don’t want to do (like working out) to reach the outcome you want to achieve.
Discipline is not berating yourself into a healthy habit or punishing yourself when you miss a Monday workout. Instead, discipline is fostering a healthy routine and making habits that you keep. I have heard this several ways, but the way I heard it this morning in Brené Brown’s newest book, Strong Ground, motivates me.
She borrowed this motto from a woman’s basketball coach (I think it was Courtney Banghart, but I could be mistaken). Simply put, disciplined people can do anything. Did that hit for you, too, sis?
If I can discipline myself and do the hard stuff I don’t want to do, I can get where I want to go. For me, this means doing calisthenics daily to strengthen my core before I start lifting heavy again. This also means waking up at 4:00 AM and following my daily routine of Bible time, reflection, and walking my dogs with my husband. Another habit I have been too relaxed on is my eating habits. Sugar and simple carbs do not do my body good, and yet, I have made them a huge part of my diet again. This needs to change, and the best place for this to change is when I grocery shop with my husband.
If I want to be the woman I envision myself being next year, strong, focused, and grounded, I need to be disciplined. It’s as simple and difficult as that.
Going Out on Submission
This week has been incredibly busy because my fantastic literary agent, Jessica Schmeidler, is sending one of my middle-grade series out on submission. This is always an exciting and anxious time, but this time I feel we are far more prepared than we have ever been in the past. I expect incredible responses, and I know future readers will enjoy the fruits of our labor.
I wanted to shed some light on the submission process for anyone interested in having a book published one day. Please learn from the mistakes I’ve made, so your experience is as painless as possible.
It’s not a race. Read that again. One of my biggest mistakes was putting deadlines on my journey. There is nothing wrong with having a time frame for specific goals (like writing 500 words a day until the manuscript is completed), but setting a deadline for when you’re going to be published puts unnecessary pressure on you, and the process is already stressful.
Have a clear vision. Who is your audience for your book? If you don’t know, I suggest figuring this out fast. You should read competitive books (comps) in the genre and age group you are writing for and figure out how your book stands out in the sea of all the books written on that topic. What sets you apart? What is your niche? Having a plan and focusing on this is key to placing your book with the right literary agent or publishing editor.
No means next opportunity. The writing business is rough, and you have to understand rejection is part of the process. It stings, but if you use it as a way to hone your craft and grow your talent, it is crucial to the journey. Don’t think that a no means you are on the wrong path. Instead, think of each rejection as a way to get you closer to your yes. This business is subjective, though I’m sure you will hate hearing that in a form rejection email. Don’t stop pressing forward when this happens. Reach out to someone in the writing community, and allow them to welcome you to the family. LOL!
The endgame is not the goal. I’m sure you’ve heard it said that it’s about the journey and not the destination, but this is true, friends. For too long, I focused on publishing, and I wished I could fast-forward the process to reach my objective. I’m not saying to forget your dream, but understand that the journey is meant to build you. This will come with pressing and breaking down your ego. Allow this to happen, friends. You will be a better human after this process. I promise.
Write. Read. Repeat. To be a great author, you need to read and write. Don’t focus on the mountain-sized task of writing an entire book. Focus on one word at a time. Start somewhere, and know that the more you show up for your dream, the closer you will get to making it a reality. Consistency is key.
I hope these tips on the submission process helped you. Send me a message on where you are in your journey, and let me know when you get your first rejection so I can welcome you to the family of authors. :)
Consistency is Key
Last night, at a church meeting, I was asked to sit with God about a strength He sees in my character and a weakness. Honestly, this was an uncomfortable, quiet time for me, which really wasn’t all that quiet in my head.
After a minute of mental constipation, I felt the Holy Spirit share a couple of things with me. Primarily, I am doing a great job at vulnerability, which was a total weakness of mine in 2019. This is an area a close friend pointed out to me as a blockage in my relationships. She reminded me that God works best in my weaknesses and that true strength is vulnerability. So, when God showed me how proud He was about this growth, I beamed. Then came the area in my spiritual walk where I am struggling... consistency.
At first, I was defensive. “I am totally consistent, God. I read the Bible every day and pray consistently.” Then, reality checked me. Though I am consistent in areas I enjoy, I struggle with areas that stretch me and make me uncomfortable. I enjoy watching church from home and serving online as a chat host. Still, I am uncomfortable about being in person at church because it is overstimulating with my new cochlear devices. I have allowed myself to stay home because I am watching church, but the point isn’t to watch church. It is to be the church.
This hit, friends, and I had to be honest about my unwillingness to connect with the body of Christ because people are hard. I don’t like being around large crowds, especially now that my devices amplify sound on a whole new level, but what if I am supposed to show up for other people? What if I am preventing God from using me because I am not there to be used?
This truth bomb woke me up, and though I continue to struggle with my desire to stay home, I need to get past my flesh and get back to being an active part of my church again.
Is there an area of your spiritual walk where you can be more consistent? Reach out to me, if you’re willing, and I will pray for us both to show up in the areas God is leading us to grow.
The Battles are Won
This morning, I spent time in prayer and reading my Bible using the YouVersion app. If you don’t have this app, I highly recommend it, as it has helped me establish a daily habit of reading my Bible. During my prayer portion of my morning routine, I read through the prayer YouVersion had for today. I want to list it for you below.
“God’s Protection: God, thank You for being my constant source of strength and peace. The fact that You are with me at all times gives me joy and fills me with hope. Today, please remind me that You are with me. No matter what I face, help me to remember that You are near—and You’re in control. Every battle I face has already been won. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
The last line of this prayer stood out to me the most. Too often, I stress about life’s everyday troubles, and my anxiety can trick me into thinking that the problems are insurmountable. God says they’ve already been figured out, and we only have to trust His provision.
So, if you’re like me, an overcaffeinated woman with a hankering for yoga pants, then you needed this prayer today, too. Rejoice in the truth: the battles we face have already been won!
Starting Over
This is my last September as a teacher. Though I am exhausted from waking up at four AM, I am also grateful to have this final year before I start over. Well, I don’t know if starting over is exactly what I am doing. I guess continuing would be a better description.
After nineteen years of working two jobs (teaching and writing), I am going all-in on my writing dream. I am excited to finally focus on the one purpose I feel God placed me on this earth to do, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. The fact is I refuse to allow fear to stop me from pursuing this big old dream of mine. Instead, I am trusting God as He guides me into this next chapter.
I was just listening to Chris Stapleton’s song “Starting Over” and dreaming of next September. Where will I wake up? My husband and I plan on traveling, especially if he can continue teaching online. Will I be in Utah, Texas, or Maine? I don’t know, but I am excited for the adventure.
Is there a dream you have put off because you’re afraid of failing? If so, friend, I pray you are brave enough to try again. God knows where He wants you, so trust Him with the road you’re on. I know I am, or at the very least, I’m surrendering my fears daily.
Tough Times Are Necessary
“When I ask people when they really grew spiritually, they never describe an easy time. Never.” -Chuck Swindoll
When I read this quote this morning, I didn’t know who Chuck Swindoll was, so I searched him up online. It turns out he is an evangelical preacher, author, and was born in October, just like me. Regardless of knowing him or not, his words touched my soul today, and let me tell you, friend, I needed it.
I am soul tired. The kind of tired where no amount of sleep could refresh me. Well, perhaps a few more hours could do me a world of good, but in all honesty, my spirit is still reeling from the effects of last week. I don’t feel hopeless, but I do feel shook. Perhaps, this isn’t a bad thing, though.
Every time I have experienced similar life-altering events, every hardship I have faced has always led to an incredible awakening of my beliefs. Last week reminded me that life is short. No one knows when the end will come for them, but we can say with certainty that the end will come.
I have spent a lot of time thinking about death, so much so that I have focused on how I am living. Am I living a life that honors God, reflects Jesus, and inspires the people around me? I wish I could say a resounding yes to all of those questions, but the truth is, I have been going through life on autopilot lately. I have spent far too much time surviving each day that I am not really thriving. This has to change.
After the murders last week, I have felt the fire within my soul flame anew. My posts have been scripture-based, and honestly, I don’t care if that makes me lose followers or not. I want to use every day to speak the truth about Jesus to the people around me. The truth is that life is difficult, but we don’t have to go through it alone. Christ promises to go through each hardship with us, and I can say from experience that this is the case in my life.
If you’d like me to pray for you, please comment below. I promise I will bring your concerns to the Lord. After all, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective" (James 5:16 NIV).
Motivational Monday
I am not a stranger to dark roads, and I am sure you aren’t either, friend. Honestly, the dark roads seem to reveal a lot, like who your true friends are, what you find strength in, and the quality of your character.
If you had a difficult week last week because of all the heinous crimes committed, you are not alone, friend. I have spent many a moment crying about the senseless acts of murder, and the response of the aftermath (both heartlifting and heartbreaking).
When we find ourselves on dark roads, it is important to remain faithful. Seek God, reach out for prayer, and be still in the solitude. Regardless of how others respond to instances of evil, you have the power within yourself to act with righteous honor, gentle fortitude, and merciful love.
Ultimately, what will matter is how we represent God on the darkened road. Were we a light to guide others, or just another broken lamp? I don’t know about you, but I hope this little light of mine will shine for His Kingdom and glory.
Faithful Friday
There is so much to be grateful for this week despite all of the heartbreak. I have a growing relationship with God, my husband is amazing, my children are healthy and thriving, my sister messages me every day to see how my morning is, I have fantastic friends that care about my well being, and so much more.
I wanted to take a moment to thank God for all of these incredible blessings. If you have something specific you would like me to pray for you, comment below or send me a personal message through my contact tab on this website.
A Prayer for Us:
Dear Heavenly Father,
I am so grateful for this life You have blessed me with Despite the darkness of this past week, You have shown me how much of my life is lived in the light. Thank You for the people who love me and who I love, for Your still soft voice speaking into my life, and for a purpose to share the talents You have given to me. Please use me today to be a light in the darkened world and to show people how much they matter.
In Jesus’s name, Amen!
My Heart is Heavy
The past few weeks have had so many traumatic events occuring in the news, especially with the murder of people caught on camera. I have been horrified at the loss of life, and disheartened by some people’s responses to these tragic events.
As Christians, the death of someone, especially through violence, should break our hearts. We should not focus on our political beliefs, or any other belief outside of what scripture says. Our nation is already divided, and we are called as believers to be peacemakers. Unfortunately, I have not seen a lot of evidence of this on social media. During times like this, I find it best to turn to God. He is the only one who can see us through our darkest times, and this past week has been incredibly dark.
I pray that believers all over the world come together in solidarity. That we fall to our knees in our despair, and trust in the only One who can bring light into this present darkness. Our prayers matter, our words matter, people are watching how we respond, and remember we may be the only example of Christ for those around us. That’s a huge responsibility, and one that should not be taken lightly.
Christ calls us to love one another as He has loved us. Let’s not forget that, especially when others believe differently from us. What has happened is evil. We should call it what it is, but also remember: “"… our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12).
I am praying, and I hope you are too.
Thankful Thursday: Why Failure is Necessary?
This morning, I was listening to a podcast about the creator of one of my favorite shows: The Chosen. If you haven’t watched this show, I highly recommend it, especially if you love storytelling in connection to The Bible.
I wasn’t prepared for how this podcast was going to wreck me in all of the best possible ways. Dallas Jenkins created The Chosen after one of his greatest directorial failures. He had directed his first Hollywood-funded film, The Resurrection of Gavin Stone, with hopes that his vision for faith-based movies would take off. It didn’t. In fact, the opposite happened. The film was a total bust.
Jenkins then said something that brought tears to my eyes. As he wrestled with God over the failure of this film, and analyzed every possible way he had gotten it wrong, his wife came to him and said she felt they should read the story in The Bible where Jesus fed the five thousand. He didn’t understand why, but read the story with her. The following morning, as he continued obsessing over this failure, an acquaintance sent him a message on Facebook Messenger that said something along the lines of: It’s not your responsibility to feed the five thousand. It’s your job to provide the loaves and fish.
This message stunned Dallas, and at four in the morning, he reached out to his friend, asking why he had sent that specific message. The friend said that he hadn’t wanted to send the message, but God kept pressing on his heart to do it, so he sent it out of obedience. Dallas had a profound moment with God as a result of this message, where he specifically heard that the outcome was not the measure.
Friend, that message struck me, too. Like Dallas, I struggle with a warped definition of success. Outcomes and totals drive me, especially in teaching. I have data and standards that direct my instruction, and oftentimes I hate it. What if instead of striving for an outcome, I enjoyed the process of creating? What if it isn’t dependent upon me at all? What if the point is that I show up, do my best, and accept whatever God has planned for my future?
Dallas said that in his greatest moment of failure, he felt ultimate freedom. His job wasn’t about feeding the five thousand. All he had to do was provide the loaves and fish, and then let God do the rest.
Regardless of what happens in my next chapter of life, whether writing is profitable or not, is not the point. The point is that I live in the center of God’s will. The point is that failure isn’t really failure. Not if it leads to the next best thing that God has planned for my life.
So, all of those rejections are necessary. All of those social media posts that flop are necessary. All of the moments I’ve wanted to throw in the towel after baring my soul on a page, only to have it go unread, are necessary. It’s all part of the process, and if the outcome doesn’t really matter, I may as well enjoy the journey.
Here I am, God, use me! Let the adventures begin!
Wellness Wednesday: What Motivates You?
When I first became an author, I wanted to be rich and famous. There was this hurt little girl living inside of me who needed to be accepted and have her existence validated on a daily basis. I struggled with not being the center of attention, and I often lived in a world of drama I created for myself. This is what happens when trauma isn’t healed. At least, that’s been my experience.
The more I focused on therapy and healing my wounds, the more I realized I didn’t need people to admire me. In fact, too much attention is uncomfortable for me now. I like being authentic, honest, and comfortable with who I am growing into. Needless to say, my motivation for writing has changed, and what used to drive me (this incessant desire to succeed) no longer serves me.
Today, I write for the purpose of helping people. I want to honor God with every word I type, and in doing so, show people the power of healing. Writing is no longer a means to an end. It is a gift God gave me to share with others. I do hope to make a living from it, but I no longer need validation to exist.
What motivates you today, friend?
Faithful Friday
Yesterday, during my morning quiet time with God, I poured out my heart about everything burdening me, specifically, my fears about leaving teaching to pursue writing full-time. I left no fear unturned, and after about five minutes of praying earnestly to my Heavenly Father, I released my anxiety and trusted God would give me the wisdom I asked for.
About thirty minutes later, I was getting ready for work when I turned on one of my favorite podcasts to listen to while doing my makeup. The School of Greatness, hosted by Lewis Howes, motivates me as a leader. This episode was a solo one entitled “7 Keys to Living a Life of Purpose.”
To be honest, I didn’t even read the title of the episode. I just clicked play and began putting on my foundation. After a few minutes of listening to the episode, I felt the Holy Spirit move within me. God had just answered my prayer, and it was beautiful, friend. I am not saying God is a genie, and I don’t come to Him for wishes to be granted. But I do come to Him with all of my concerns.
Like any good relationship, God wants to know us fully, even though I truly believe He already does. He longs for us to reach out, to sit with Him, to chat about anything and everything. As a parent of adult children, I totally get this. I don’t care what my kids want to talk about. I just want to talk with them. I want to know what they are excited about, scared of, and what is going on in their daily lives. I think God wants the same thing with His children.
My prayer for today is that you will go to God with your burdens. You don’t have to carry this alone, friend. In fact, don’t. Close your eyes, if you can, and ask God to take the heaviest weight from your shoulders right now. That’s it. Then, go about your day with the peace that He’s got you because He does.
Sometimes, faith is all we have when we are facing the unfaceable, or in my case, dreaming really big dreams. It’s called a trust fall for a reason. Okay, friend… let’s go.
Thankful Thursday
This book was inspired by the movie Begin Again. I remember watching it with my daughter, and the first page poured out of me as I sat at our dinner table. I read it to my daughter and asked if I should continue writing it. She answered with a resounding YES!
I published this book in 2017. It is still one of the books that broke me apart to rebuild me. I hated writing parts of this book and shining light on the darkest parts of abuse, but I am so grateful I didn’t shy away from the truth.
Thank you to the incredible women who have currently read and reviewed my book on Goodreads. Your words inspire me to continue on this writing journey!
#author #booktok #bookreviews #beginagain #workinprogress #lifeafterabuse #grateful
Wellness Wednesday
As I drove to work today, I listened to some of my favorite music from two of my favorite bands: Nirvana and Pearl Jam. I remember singing along to these songs in middle school and high school, and so many other times since then. These songs make me feel nostalgic and young again. It’s as if the worries of today melt away, and I am that teenage girl excited for my new Revlon lipstick in Rum Raisin. Maybe that was the lip liner, though.
Regardless, the music of my youth brings me joy and calms my soul. I am more likely to let drivers cut in front of me on the freeway without a second thought when I am listing to “Something in the Way” or “Black.” These songs are an iconic part of my memories. On this Wednesday, as my tooth is still hurting from an infection, I needed a little wellness in my life.
What songs bring you joy, peace, and wellness for your soul?
Truthful Tuesday
On my daily commute, I was listening to a podcast my husband sent to me (if you’re interested in listening to it too, send me a message), and an idea presented in the conversation struck me to the core. Essentially, it was this lie that Christians have believed that we are morally superior to everyone else. I sat with this idea for a minute, thinking: well, aren’t we supposed to be? Then, the truth came to me. If we are morally superior, why would we need Christ?
The more I pondered this thought, the more I realized the problem with perfectionism (a problem that I struggle with daily). Though I am called to live a holy life, this does not mean I am called to be self-righteous. I mean, let’s be real, Jesus was vehemently against self-righteous leaders. Being holy means I am set apart, but set apart from what? The more I thought about this, the more I realized it meant set apart from that which separates me from Christ, my own personal sin.
One of my favorite verses in the Bible is found in 1 Timothy 1:15 (NLT): “This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: ‘Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners’—and I am the worst of them all.”
Paul says here that he was the worst sinner of all. That is an all-consuming and powerful statement. The worst of them all? Why would he say that? Didn’t he write most of the New Testament? I think Paul was saying that he is capable of great sin as well as great goodness. He hunted Christians before Christ met him on the road to Damascus. He essentially watched the cloaks of the people who stoned Stephen to death. Was this evil? Of course, it was. Paul recognizes in this verse that apart from Christ, he is nothing but a sinner capable of extreme evil, and if I am honest, so am I.
We all have goodness in us, but we are all also capable of evil. We choose how we respond each day. In the end, it is our choice to recognize that we are capable of evil that may very well have us turn to Christ and say, “I know I am a sinner, and I need you to help me.”
That’s the point of The Gospel. If you are a Christian, understand that it is not our goodness that saves us, or our desires to live perfectly; it is understanding that, regardless of how good we attempt to be, apart from Christ, none of those deeds matter. Apart from Christ, nothing matters. I am not saying that we should live our lives absent-mindedly, but instead that we should recognize our greatest flaws. See that we need Christ today just as much as we did the first day we accepted Him as our Lord; for me, I need Him more.
We cannot earn our way into God’s good graces. Striving for perfection is fleeting, seeking moral superiority is fleeting, and chasing after self-righteousness is fleeting. Instead, we should realize the truth: Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14: 16).
It’s all about Christ, friends.
Things I’m Still Learning
These are the things I’m still learning…
#workinprogress #trusttheprocess #imstilllearning #itsokaytonotbeokay #illgetthere
Battling Control
Hey friends, I wanted to take a few moments to get real with you all. I struggle daily with control, so much so that it affects my sleep, my cortisol levels, and my health. Can you relate?
Last year, I was overwhelmed by my cochlear surgeries, going back to teach in-person again, and my ninety minute commute to and from work. My body buzzed with an incessant electricity that I had something important to do, and my anxiety was through the roof. I walked around with a sense of urgency that didn’t make sense, even on the days I was relaxing at home. I felt like I was missing something, and I carried this feel of utter helplessness around with me like an umbrella ready to catch the rain as it fell.
This led to me writing a 40-day devotional about my experiences with control, anxiety, and depression. Each day, I showed up at work, and I wrote about what was weighing me down, and I felt this unraveling of my spirit, but in a good way. God met me each morning, and He helped me see the areas in my life that I was carrying far too much baggage and what I needed to release to him. Spoiler alert, it was pretty much everything.
I’m not going to say that writing this devotional solved all of my issues with control, but it did help me recognize what I had been burying for far too long, specifically resentment, bitterness, and the fears that I will never be enough. Though I continue to battle with control, I am in a better place, because I know I can bring each anxiety to God. He meets me in my messes, and reminds me that I don’t have to have everything solved right now. In fact, that’s not really living. It’s barely existing.
If you are struggling with similar feelings, let me know how I can pray for you. You don’t have to go through this alone, friend. Please allow me to walk alongside you as you struggle with your own battles with control.
Teacher Tired
I am teacher tired! #iykyk Yesterday was my last Back to School night, and the reality of this still hasn’t hit me yet.
During 4th period yesterday, I felt beyond exhausted. It’s a tough class because it’s after lunch. I could feel my patience running thin, and I silently prayed for God to intervene.
When moments like this happen, I need a verse to get me through. This verse stood out to me today as I felt the exhaustion from yesterday settling behind my eyes. I am beyond grateful to God for giving me this verse today.
#backtoschool #exhausted #teacherlife #prayforme #teachertired #trustgod #godsword #godsplan #godsgotthis
Happy Easter!
The right words elude me. I fear I am far too similar to the Apostle Peter, and my spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak. As I sit here, I am awed that Christ loves me, that God chose to open my eyes, and that the Holy Spirit intercedes for me. Who am I… honestly? I am grateful. #heisrisen #Christsaves #theemptytomb #happyeaster
Goodbye, Mom
Dear Mom,
I can’t believe I am writing you this letter. It’s a letter I never wanted to write because I wanted you to live forever. I know how absurd that statement is, but it's true nonetheless. You were the rock I leaned on. The woman who whispered words of encouragement inside my head when I faced mountains I thought were impossible to move. Your voice has echoed through me saying, “You can move this mountain, Ma. Just do one thing, and then another. It’ll be moved before you know it, Molly. Keep going… pull it together.”
My heart hasn’t fully comprehended losing you. My emotions feel stuck, and it's like I’m walking through an overcast day every day since you passed. I’ll think about calling you, and then I’ll remember that I can’t, and that realization hurts more than the initial shock of losing you. Though you told me time and time again that everything would be okay when you left, I want you to know it isn’t okay.
The world isn’t as bright, Mom. The flowers don’t smell as sweet, and though I know I’m blessed beyond measure to love and be loved, I don’t have you.
How do I begin to say goodbye to the woman who raised me as her own? The grief comes and goes, and sometimes, it’s so strong, that it brings me to my knees, and I can’t catch my breath. I try to remember how you would want me to respond during moments when I feel lost in the tide of my sorrow, but it’s all still too new… the pain too fresh.
Your memory is alive in my mind. I can still see the warmth of your smile and feel your presence as though you are still here. I feel like you are. You’re in every lily I see on my morning walk, you’re in the sun glistening on my neighborhood lake, and in the laughter of my best friends who check in on me to see if I am okay. You are everywhere, Mom because you are the woman who taught me that loving people is the greatest gift of all.
I keep remembering the last moment I kissed your forehead. You looked so beautiful, Mom, and so peaceful. I wanted you to open your eyes and smile back at me. To whisper I love you to me one last time, but that didn’t happen, and though it hurts, I know the end of this life isn't the end. You are with Jesus, our family who went before you, and best of all, you are healed.
I can’t say goodbye to you, Mom, and I won’t. Instead, I will keep your memory alive, I will dream about you, talk about each memory, and cry when I need to. This is a great loss for our family, and I won’t pretend like my world will ever be what it once was. It can’t be. You’re gone, and though my heart breaks with this realization, it also celebrates the fact that I was privileged to know you at all.
Thank you for loving me so well, Mom. I promise to hold that dear to my heart each day.
With Love Beyond Measure,
Your Ma
