Thankful Thursday: Why Failure is Necessary?

This morning, I was listening to a podcast about the creator of one of my favorite shows: The Chosen. If you haven’t watched this show, I highly recommend it, especially if you love storytelling in connection to The Bible.

I wasn’t prepared for how this podcast was going to wreck me in all of the best possible ways. Dallas Jenkins created The Chosen after one of his greatest directorial failures. He had directed his first Hollywood-funded film, The Resurrection of Gavin Stone, with hopes that his vision for faith-based movies would take off. It didn’t. In fact, the opposite happened. The film was a total bust.

Jenkins then said something that brought tears to my eyes. As he wrestled with God over the failure of this film, and analyzed every possible way he had gotten it wrong, his wife came to him and said she felt they should read the story in The Bible where Jesus fed the five thousand. He didn’t understand why, but read the story with her. The following morning, as he continued obsessing over this failure, an acquaintance sent him a message on Facebook Messenger that said something along the lines of: It’s not your responsibility to feed the five thousand. It’s your job to provide the loaves and fish.

This message stunned Dallas, and at four in the morning, he reached out to his friend, asking why he had sent that specific message. The friend said that he hadn’t wanted to send the message, but God kept pressing on his heart to do it, so he sent it out of obedience. Dallas had a profound moment with God as a result of this message, where he specifically heard that the outcome was not the measure.

Friend, that message struck me, too. Like Dallas, I struggle with a warped definition of success. Outcomes and totals drive me, especially in teaching. I have data and standards that direct my instruction, and oftentimes I hate it. What if instead of striving for an outcome, I enjoyed the process of creating? What if it isn’t dependent upon me at all? What if the point is that I show up, do my best, and accept whatever God has planned for my future?

Dallas said that in his greatest moment of failure, he felt ultimate freedom. His job wasn’t about feeding the five thousand. All he had to do was provide the loaves and fish, and then let God do the rest.

Regardless of what happens in my next chapter of life, whether writing is profitable or not, is not the point. The point is that I live in the center of God’s will. The point is that failure isn’t really failure. Not if it leads to the next best thing that God has planned for my life.

So, all of those rejections are necessary. All of those social media posts that flop are necessary. All of the moments I’ve wanted to throw in the towel after baring my soul on a page, only to have it go unread, are necessary. It’s all part of the process, and if the outcome doesn’t really matter, I may as well enjoy the journey.

Here I am, God, use me! Let the adventures begin!